There is a fluidity of emotion within me. In moments when I lose myself, I feel like I’m missing pieces of me. It is not an emptiness but a deep sadness. A sense of loss that fills me with a need, a desire.
There are people and things in the surrounding of my personal space that spark shades of hope… converting sadness into inspiration or feelings of joy. It spreads from my mind to my heart like a trickle of rain drops.
As the rain passes by, the warmth of my soul is stripped away like a cold rush of cutting wind. A ripple of goose bumps and a sigh of disappointment.
As joy fades into darkness, I miss the bright colors of my mind. I reach for clouds too high and insubstantial to touch. I imagine the soft pillows in the sky only to find myself shrouded in mist. In chasing rain clouds, I fear taking the sunshine for granted.
As rays break through the clouds in glimpses of happiness, they crash down like waves and wash away the hours. In the minutes coming down from the clouds, positive emotion flows into the sky leaving me dry and thirsty.
I cling to things and people that I love as though coveting previous drops of water in the desert. Rationing out my time and energy to provide the best coverage of my well being. The delicate emotional ecosystem thriving through immersion and symbiosis, navigating the empty spaces between pockets of water.
If only I could swim forever. Alas I am bound to the earth with limited moments of held breath. Tonight I exhale and breath again until I meet the tide of my next inspiration or joy.