Jolly As Fuck

I need to get this negativity out of my system so that I can move on to being festive again. This year will be awesome as my mother is coming to spend xmas with us! I’m very excited about this.

In the beginning, it didn’t bother me that Christmas stuff was on shelves before Halloween. I admit that I mocked my husband thinking he was just jumping on another stupid Christmas controversy or being a big old Grinch. However, my opinion has changed so drastically that I practically had a public hissy fit at both work and Walmart!

We were coming up with a team theme for Halloween and people just would NOT do something Halloween. No, I don’t want to do A Nightmare Before Christmas YET again. No, I don’t want to do Christmas massacre AGAIN. NO, I don’t want to do Frozen…. OMG THIS IS NOT CHRISTMAS! It is HALLOWEEN! Can we PLEASE do something Halloween themed for Halloween? Witches, ghosts, pumpkins… PLEASSSSSSE?? I got stuck with Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I was disappointed again this year. Frankly, Christmas was invading my Halloween and I was NOT pleased.

On November 1st, I had gone shopping looking for fall and Thanksgiving type stuff for making themed owls. When there was just one pathetic aisle at Hobby Lobby and a huge section of Christmas, I got annoyed. I didn’t even find what I needed. So we went to Walmart and I couldn’t even find the Thanksgiving / Fall stuff. I lost my crafty mind.

It’s not Thanksgiving yet! It hasn’t even been 24hrs into November!! I don’t care if you put out the Christmas stuff but where is the fall stuff?! What the hell is wrong with you people?! Other holidays matter too! This is bullshit!

My husband had a moment of complete satisfaction of being right, and yet discomfort in witnessing the crafting beast having a melt down. He helped me scour the store and found the one tiny wall space with any fall stuff. I settled for a fall print table cloth as a compromise for the fabric I was hoping to use for my fall owls and turkey soft toys. It was slim pickings. I was pissed. Yet, I was so pleased with my husband for finding me what there was to find. Again, I felt robbed by Christmas.

I love Christmas and it doesn’t bother me if it pops up months early. It bothers me that it crowds out the other holidays. Now see what you have done? I’m on the anti-early xmas band wagon! Please stop smothering Halloween and Thanksgiving! Get out and wait your goddamned turn!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Furthermore, I’m so tired of these stupid Christmas “controversies”. Yes, I realize that the early xmas is technically a controversy, but so far it seems to be the only one that makes any sense. Things like the Star Bucks red cup controversy is so fucking stupid and pointless! Who gives a shit if the cup is red? Honestly it’s just a cup. If they go red, it’s festive. If they don’t, it’s still coffee… it’s still Christmas. The only reason it’s a controversy is because someone needs another reason to be offended. Those of us with intelligence get sucked into the drama because we get so tired of the flagrant stupidity that gets waved in our faces every day.

I am so done with this bullshit. I will say Merry Christmas. I will say Happy Holidays. I will say Blessed Be. I’ll say whatever the merry fucking winter festive word I damned well pleased. You can spread your holiday joy around me in whatever holiday spirit you so choose. I won’t be offended by your holiday spirit and how you choose to spread your joy. Just don’t cock block my holiday spirit and joy and we’re jolly as fuck.

There… I got it all out. Now I’m going to promptly ignore ALL holiday controversies. I’m not reading articles, posts, tweets, or comments about negative holiday bullshit. I don’t want to hear about it, debate it, or even think about it. All I want to read, post, or talk about, is all the festive, joyous, holiday spirit that I love during fall and winter. Bring me your good will and I will share mine…. but xmas, please wait your turn…

Happy Thanksgiving! GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



2 thoughts on “Jolly As Fuck

  1. BRAfuckingVO! Last year I officially told everyone, “I don’t do holidays anymore, no exceptions.” My life is far from resembling a Hallmark card and I am tired of pretending. I will enjoy and revel in Thanksgiving in my own way and the same with Christmas, but only on Christmas day, the ramp up can fuck off. It ruins Thanksgiving which should be every day, I am always thankful for what I have in my life. Christmas day feels different from every other day and I will honor that, but not the bullshit that precedes it. I have the ability in rebuilding my life right now to the exact specifications I enjoy and all others can do their own thing too. MerryfuckingChristmas, great post, great rant!

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