Review: Jurassic World

Jurassic-World-The-GameIf you don’t want spoilers, turn away now. Although, it’s hard to say that anything in the movie can be spoiled. The one big secret wasn’t all that shocking or really all that important in my opinion. However, in the spirit of not spoiling anything, I’ll talk more about it further down.

Yes, I liked the movie. Did I like it more than the original? No. Why? Because Jurassic Park had an actual story. Jurassic World is just dinosaurs, which is still fun. Jurassic World was funny. Was it meant to be as funny as it was? Probably not. It felt like they tried to have a human story in there. You know, the troubled kids and the awkward aunt who isn’t spending time with them. However, that was pretty much pointless and didn’t really have a resolution. Oh wait, now I get it. They survived a dinosaur attack and now all their problems don’t matter anymore. Seems legit!

Claire was an interesting character and obviously had some deep rooted issues, but they never really go into why or… who cares? DINOSAURS! There was the former relationship gone wrong that gets rekindled later… because dinosaurs! Typical. Pointless given that the entire reason for this movie to exist is for the dinosaur battle at the end. Silly humans getting in the way of the dinosaurs.  Who needs a substantial back story or, hell, even a real conclusion when you have dinosaurs attacking?!

I know. It sounds like I hated the movie, but I didn’t. Fortunately, they made me laugh and kept me amused enough to make the movie enjoyable. Besides, I’m actually fine with a B-rated plot and kickass dinosaur moments. Seeing a giant aquatic dinosaur (mosasaurus) eating a shark, among other things, was cool.


Of course I’m a Chris Pratt fan and he’s a good actor. I’m almost embarrassed to say this, and it’s totally not his fault, but his acting was too big for this movie. His acting was great, but the movie just wasn’t serious enough to do his acting justice! It’s like asking an actor to take a non-serious role seriously in a non-serious movie… if that makes since?

I’ve heard other people make ridiculous comments about Chris Pratt having a tan and saying that if they wanted someone ethnic in the movie,  they should have hired someone who’s actually ethnic. First of all, he looks white to me in the movie. He hardly looks tan enough to be anything other than white. Second, that’s just stupid. Third… you look great Chris!

maxresdefault (1)

Owen (Chris Pratt) and the raptors, those scenes felt more organic. He cared about them as living creatures and they were free-willed wild animals. It felt like there was a connection there, and it made sense later on in the movie when Blue (the raptor beta of the pack) helps to save everyone from the Indominus Rex.


Yeah, that I-Rex is a psychopath. Of course, when Hoskins decides it’s a good idea to release barely controllable raptors to take down the Indominus Rex, he puts no thought into how he plans to handle it if the dinosaurs team up. Oh… they team up. Come one. Don’t be stupid! The scene when they are talking to each other (in dinosaur cherping), it’s pretty funny. Oh no… they’re talking to each other. Oh no… they are teaming up. ATTACKS ENSUE! That was funny. Stupid humans make for amusing dinosaur attacks. No really, the human “stories” only served one purpose… putting humans where dinosaurs can eat them.


In fact, the scene where the dinosaurs finally reach the amusement park, packed with people, was the most funny part of the whole movie. I know, I sound sadistic. You had to be there! Seeing the idiot baby sitter tossed around was amusing. The Dimorphodon (a pterodactyl with small t-rex head) attacking people was also amusing. Oh no, a baby… gee… who the fuck brings a baby to a live dinosaur amusement park – especially after the original Jurassic Park disasters! jurassic-world-dimorphodon-share_z9dy.1920All of the human decisions were stupid. A bunch of stupid humans (minus Owen) making stupid choices, and being eaten by dinosaurs. How satisfying. Bring T-Rex in to fight the I-Rex? What could possibly go wrong? But hey, why deal with that? Lets just defeat the evil dinosaur and call the movie good! Sure, why not. Oh and that secret about I-Rex? She’s part raptor! Guess that’s why she’s so smart? Is it? Or maybe it’s why she was so evil? I don’t know. Who cares! DINOSAURS!!!




2 thoughts on “Review: Jurassic World

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s