There is one thing that a man definitely gets very wrong and his ignorance makes life so much harder for himself. Most men are too cowardly or insensitive to bother with learning, and yet, they dread the wrath of it so much. If only man was courageous or smart enough to keep reading, they might unlock a few secrets and make life that much easier on themselves. Are you a brave man? Do you love your woman? I challenge you to read this entire post…
I’m not going to give you a biology lesson on how a period works in the body, but I will tell you that your assumptions, no matter your experience, is wrong. Believe it or not, periods don’t turn women insane for a week. They don’t become completely unreasonable, and they don’t get upset over nothing. Yes, it’s true that women’s hormones do effect our moods, but you don’t understand it, and therefore you make huge mistakes.
There are ways to minimize and even eliminate a dreadful menstrual cycle. In fact, you men may not know this, but there is some pretty awesome stuff that comes of this if you dare to learn from this article. I’ll share those secrets with you, but you have to be patient!
~ Rule No. 1 ~ Know her cycle. It really does pay to know her cycle, so you aren’t surprised by it. Get a calendar, notate when she starts, when she stops, what her mood is like the day before she starts, and what her mood is like the days during her period. It seems like a lot of effort, but it’s worth it. You have to be willing to put effort into a good relationship.
To a man, you may think that she’s upset over nothing, because she’s never been this upset over it before. Because you think this way, you will likely be condescending about it “because it’s over nothing”. You’ll undermine her feelings, and you’ll not take it seriously. You will likely do nothing to improve the situation “because it’s silly”. You’ll probably make it worse by making those same insensitive comments. You’ll end up in a big fight and will likely be the one apologizing later. This experience makes you dread the monthly period… but I believe that you just don’t know any better.
Here’s what’s really going on with your woman. When she’s not on her period, she’s more tolerant of your flaws. She’s always asking (or telling) you not to leave your dirty socks all over the apartment (or whatever it is that you are doing to annoy her). She may not pick a fight with you over it, but she’s annoyed and it’s a sore spot that is building up tension. Maybe she’s always cleaning up after you and when she brings her friends home to a filthy apartment, she’s embarrassed. She tells you, but you don’t listen. This is a typical relationship for any side of the gender fence.
When her period starts, yes, there are hormones going on. It’s harder to hide your emotions and your tolerance goes down quite a bit. So, again, after weeks of embarrassment, picking up after you, and asking you to pick up your smelly socks, she finally has had enough. This isn’t nothing. It’s a build up of something you’ve neglected and ignored for three whole weeks (or more… did she blow up about this last period too?). Now, suddenly it’s her period’s fault…. another reason to ignore the underlying issue. Chances are, there’s something she’s been upset about or annoyed over for some time, and when left unresolved, her period is the breaking point in which she can’t hide her emotions. Now, for some women, they don’t address those issues through out the weeks and that’s their fault for keeping it bottled up.
~ Rule No. 2 ~ Fix unresolved issues. Has she been telling you to pick up your smelly socks for the past three weeks? Has she been asking you to fix the window for the past week? Has she been nagging you about anything lately? I bet, if she comes home to a clean apartment, no socks in sight, and that broken window is fixed, she’s gonna be happy.
You might think her period just makes her more angry and bitchy, but it’s also going to make her more loving and thankful too. She’s going to be more expressive of being pleased and she’ll thank you just as hard as she would have fought you if you had continued your bad habits. Periods don’t make women more bitchy, they make them more expressive of ALL of their emotions, including the good ones.
You might think that if she didn’t have a period, she wouldn’t blow up over it. However, I’m sure that if something is left unresolved, she’s going to eventually blow up over it, with or without her period. Women who go through menopause and no longer menstruate, still get into arguments and blow up over things.
~ Rule No. 3 ~ Embrace it. Most guys think this is a week to avoid their woman, but you’re wrong. Women are more loving during their period and it’s a great time to bond. If you want to strengthen your relationship, this is the time to do it. Don’t run from it, embrace it. Do something special. Tell her how you really feel, how much you love her. Open up to her and show her your vulnerable side. When a woman feels loved and respected, she’ll dote on you too. She’ll be kinder and more forgiving the rest of the month.
Women want to feel good. Sure, they are cramping and don’t feel great, but you can bring home some chocolate and tea and be just as supportive as you would if she had a cold. She’s going to be more inclined to do nice things for you, if you are doing nice things for her.
Now, of course this isn’t true for every woman. If you have a terrible woman in your life, her period isn’t likely going to change that. You can’t blame a bad relationship, or an awful person, on a woman’s period. However, I don’t recommend a break up during someone’s menstrual cycle… that’d just make things worse for both of you.
~ Rule No. 4 ~ It’s not a supernatural curse. Don’t fool yourself into believing that whatever problems you have will be magically gone when her period is over. She’s not Dr.Jekyll and Ms. Hyde. Her period doesn’t make her something she’s not. An argument is just an argument regardless of the time of the month. People get into fights over the same issues they get into fights over when she’s not on her period. An argument is an argument, don’t treat it like a menstrual phenomenon.
Some women do say that they aren’t themselves, or they don’t mean it. However don’t let this fool you. Women live with this same society perpetuating ignorance about periods. Often times, women will say these things to just to make peace or to “excuse” their hurtful deeds. While men often use a woman’s period to undermine legitimate gripes, women also use it as an excuse to bail out the argument too, and it only perpetuates the period stereotypes.
That’s not to say that she means every hurtful thing she says during her period. People (men and women) say hurtful things in the heat of an argument regardless of her monthly status. That’s also not to say that she’s not upset over nothing, or isn’t picking a fight over something stupid. The point is, her period isn’t the deciding factor on what’s insignificant. Couples fight over stupid shit all the time, not just when she’s on her period. Stop convincing yourself it has something to do with her period and address it realistically.
~ Rule No. 5 ~ Don’t be stupid. You known damn well that saying “Are you on the rag?” will start an argument. Frankly, it’s an asshole thing to say and you deserve a week of hell if you’re going to be a spiteful asshat. Don’t dismiss her feelings or ignore her because she’s on her period. If you act like a jerk when she’s on her period, chances are that you’re a jerk when she’s not on her period too. I promise you, you are only making life difficult for yourself (and you probably deserve it).
~ Rule No. 6 ~ Don’t be afraid to get medical help. In some cases, there can be underlining medical conditions that will manifest during a woman’s period. If she’s truly not herself or outrageously loosing her shit, then she needs to see a doctor. Some conditions are life threatening. Hormone imbalances do in fact cause some Jekyll and Hyde shit… but in these cases it’s not her fault!
Although, let’s remember the previous rules. Don’t assume your woman has a medical issue because you don’t want to admit that you are to blame for the argument, or because you don’t want to put in the effect to improve your relationship issues. Tread lightly, because being emotional isn’t cause for medical attention (aka don’t be stupid). If she actually does need medical help, approach it gently and treat her with extra love, respect, and support.
~ Rule No. 7 ~ Sometimes, a bitch is just a bitch. Like I mentioned before, if your woman has a bad attitude, then she’s gonna have a bad attitude during her period no matter what you do. If she’s a bitch, she’s a bitch all the time. Don’t blame it on the menstrual cycle. If you’re lucky, maybe she’s nicer during her period because just maybe she’s a nice person on the inside. You might want to try to draw out her nice side during the rest of the month.
Honestly, if you do all these things and she’s still a nightmare during her period, then perhaps you should examine your relationship during the other three weeks of the month.
~ Rule No. 8 ~ PMS means PRE (before) menstrual syndrome. Stop calling the entire period “PMS”. Also PMS doesn’t mean bitchy. It’s a wide range of effects. For me, my sense of smell and taste is heightened to the point that I can’t eat some foods. I also get very… VERY… horny. All of a sudden, my husband smells really good and I want him. So, no, PMS isn’t just cramping and bitchiness.
Okay, so if you didn’t get the big secret reveal, it’s that menstrual cycles aren’t magical curses that make women angry and not themselves. Sure, a woman’s emotions are heightened, but it’s not exclusive to the bad emotions. Good emotions are strong too. It’s why she cries at heart warming commercials and puppy/kitty videos. You have to stop thinking of periods as curse or a week of misery. Get real guys. Treat it with respect. Treat her with respect.