I’ll get the point, just bare with me here.
I get up late in the afternoon on my day off and my husband is on the couch relaxing. I go outside to clean the car out. I come back inside and say “Okay, the car is clean! So I have a proposal for you. If you help me clean up the apartment, I’ll cook brunch. If you cook brunch and take out the trash, I’ll clean the apartment.” My husband opts to cook and take out trash.
My husband takes a shower, and while he’s in the bathroom, I go into the cooler to grab a bottle of water and it smells of nasty stagnant water. So naturally, I take out the sodas and water bottles and I tell my husband “Hey honey, the cooler smells bad.”
He groans and accuses me of nagging him “I’ll take care of it! Stop nagging me!”
Let’s get something straight here gentlemen. Just because you don’t want to hear it, doesn’t make it a nag. Nagging is constantly harassing someone to do something. Since this is the first and only time I’ve even mentioned the cooler… that means I’m not a nag and you’re just being an asshole.
Furthermore, the fact that we negotiated chores, also does not qualify as “nagging”. I proposed a plan of action, you agreed to one of them. It was in fact a separate topic that lasted all but a minute and had nothing to do with the stagnant cooler. Even of you could argue that both are about cleaning, in no way did I harass him to do anything. A 1 minute proposal and acceptance is not harassment. Informing someone ONE TIME of a nuisance, is also not harassment.
So, I reply to my lovely husband “I’m not nagging you. I was just letting you know it was foul, and that I pulled out all the drinks for you. Just because you don’t want to hear it doesn’t make it a nag. Just because you don’t want to deal with it, doesn’t mean that I’m nagging you. I didn’t ask you to dump it out, I was just informing you. THIS. This is nagging. So next time, don’t be a dick about stuff.”
While we are on the topic of nagging, you should probably stop and consider whether or not you deserve it. Let’s be real, wives and mothers typically only nag when you are a lazy prick. Case and point, let’s say your wife cleaned the kitchen, did the dishes, cleaned the living room, and cleaned the car, and all your wife asked you to do is take out the garbage, then maybe you should do it. Women are not maids. Also, waiting days or even weeks to do your part is completely unacceptable. So, if you don’t want to be nagged, then DO YOUR PART IN A REASONABLE TIME FRAME!!!!
Now, don’t get me wrong, I know my husband is going to take out the trash – today – and he’s going to cook brunch. That’s why I am not nagging him about it. However, if he should put it off to tomorrow, I’m going to remind him. He’ll say it’s nagging, but I say it’s a reminder. Should he not get it done by the end of the second day, the nagging will surely commence. If the third day comes and it’s not done, he risks me going on a war path. I’m a redhead and nagging is the least of your problems at this point.
Yes, he did take out the trash and did cook. We’ll see what happens with this cooler, but I wager he’ll get it done this weekend, because he’s a lot more responsible and a lot less of a procrastinator than he was 10 years ago (as am I). Although, maybe it’s to avoid my wrath, but either way, it’s what needs to be done. Our household is a joint effort. We both bring home the bacon, we both cook, we both clean.
So, now I wonder, are men just lazy and rude in general? Do men typically use “nagging” as a way to bully and undermine women? Either way, you can’t successfully bully me… I’ll win hands down. I am a brain ninja. While my husband does sometimes fall prey to male stupidity, which is largely societies’ fault, he can be reasoned with. He can admit when he’s wrong, apologize, and tries (usually succeeding) to make me a happy wife. He’s a forward thinker and I love him very much. Be patient with your men, but set them straight when they are wrong and hold your ground, ladies.