I Am Who I Am

I am who I am… nothing more… nothing less. I am eccentric, eclectic, strange, nerdy, passionate… all words synonymous with “crazy”, but often endeared as “enlightened”. Labels and judgement aside… I am just a person with thoughts and feelings.  I accept who I am and my bizarre nature. I accept that I am emotional. I accept and deal with my anxiety and my often Obsessive Compulsive behavior. I find the term “crazy” crude when applied to the everyday symptomatic person. I often wonder if other people think the way I do. I am sure there are.

The only real question I’ve posed to myself is – Am I really all that different from the rest of the world? I often feel like I’m one-of-kind and that no one is like me. I have things in common with others, true, but I am often too different to fit in with most people. Am I just arrogant to think I’m that unique? As I have come to accept who I am, I have also learned that it is okay to be different. I suppose, with wisdom, I’ll figure out that it doesn’t really matter if I’m like anyone else or unique. Why does it matter if you’re not like anyone else? Wouldn’t you prefer to be unique? If you accept others for who they are, there will be people who accept who you are.

No one can dictate who you are, but you. You can change aspects of yourself, but I believe that you should only change for two reasons: 1. Because you truly want to change, and 2. In reasonable compromise. I believe that you shouldn’t change just because others judge you or disapprove. I happen to love drawing cartoons, dressing up in cosplay, collecting stuffed animals, and taking photos of Toyvoyagers. There are plenty of people who disapprove, or don’t understand it, and want me to “grow up”. However, I pay my bills. I’m at work on time and act professional where it needs to be done. I act like an adult when necessary. I’ve maintained a loving and strong marriage of 12 years (today is our 12th year anniversary)! My hobbies and enjoyment, while childish, hurt no one. My husband and true friends accept who I am and love my child-like wonder and good natured heart. It’s part of what they love about me. Why would I change it? I’m happy. Those people who can’t find their inner child are missing out and it’s not a reason to change myself.

If  I dislike that I bite my nails because it’s gross and ugly, or I dislike my weight because I look too fat and am out of breath walking down the block, then I should definitely strive to change these things about me. If I think I look beautiful with curves, my husband loves my curvy body, and I don’t have issues going for walks, then screw you if you think I’m too fat. If my husband and I want to loose weight together, so we both look better for each other and ourselves… that’s a reasonable compromise.

If my political and religious views are passionate and controversial, I can accept keeping my opinions to out of the work place and keeping them to myself in social situations. There’s a time and place for everything, and as long as you respect boundaries, there is no reason to change… reasonable compromise. Here on this blog, it’s my domain. People have the freedom not to read it. If you want compromise… respect my domain and I will respect your domain in return.

In conclusion, I am who I am and you should be who you are.

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